Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
How drunk are you?
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