I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
