I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize