smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
