Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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