Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
