NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
