none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize