my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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