I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I am available for nakedness
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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