Sponge bath it is.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize