she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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