I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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