So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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