my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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