I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
