hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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