is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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