if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
