it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you would pick up someone in the library
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
