If that was your dad, he is hot
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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