i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
