and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
