yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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