Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
