His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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