you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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