Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
