I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
