I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
