Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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