He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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