apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize