Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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