I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
