If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
