I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
