after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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