i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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