it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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