Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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