My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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