It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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