Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
