if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
