I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I see more hoeing in ur future
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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