I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Barsexuality is the new black.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
