I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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