I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
