I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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