come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
