let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
