that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
