What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
