He is an equal opportunity slut.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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