her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
